Plenty of bathroom gadgets make our lives easier. But then there are also plenty that leave you scratching your head, asking, “Dear God, why?”
We recently featured the most useless kitchen gadgets—from pickle forks to banana slicers—and quickly realized that the kitchen is hardly where the absurdity ends. In fact, the more we plunged (sorry) into the humble bathroom, the more we discovered the seemingly unlimited number of devices on which homeowners can flush away their hard-earned dollars.
Behold some of the worst offenders (along with buying info if you want to make a real splash in your own life!):
Talking toilet paper holder
If you’d like to intrude on people’s most private moments (hey, we’re not judging), a talking toilet paper holder ($11.94, Amazon.com) will do the trick. You can pick from an array of famous movie-clip quotes, or record your own hilarious/creepy/unsettling message—the opportunities are endless. But do you really want to be known as the person who has this much free time? As one reviewer put it, “At first this was funny. My wife wants to kill it at this point.”
Caffeinated soap
Perhaps this is the ideal eye-opener for the noncoffee drinker. Shower Shock caffeinated soap ($6.99/bar, Thinkgeek.com) may seem like a gimmick, but one reviewer swears it had him “flying all day.” So, maybe start small by lathering up an elbow if you’re sensitive to the stimulant … or highly gullible to the power of suggestion.
Toilet scale
Want to keep track of every ounce that goes in and out? This toilet scale will help you do just that, weighing you before and after your quality time. It was designed by Haikun Denghile and hailed on the site geekologie.com, but there’s no mention of it going into mass production, or where you can buy it. And you know what? Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.
Step & shave footrest
Ladies, have you ever shaved your legs and thought, “Man, bending over and running a razor along my calf is just so hard!” Or “My god, leg shaving is just like brain surgery. I really need more light to do this right.” If either statement sounds like you, then you’ll love this lighted footrest ($24.99, Brookstone.com). Or else you can just live in the Medieval days and keep shaving your legs the usual way. Up to you.
Toilet seat that lights up
Men and women have been warring over whether the toilet seat should remain up or down since the dawn of time, but that doesn’t mean we really need a light-up toilet seat ($11.95, Amazon.com), does it? It glows red if the seat’s up and green if it’s down. But can’t you check the seat status just by turning on the regular light?
Shower curtain with tablet pocket
If you really, truly can’t bear to spend even two minutes without your iPad to shampoo your hair, then this shower curtain with see-through tablet pocket ($29.95, Hammacher.com) allows your tablet lovefest to continue. It keeps the water off but allows your YouTube obsession or Amazon shopping spree to continue uninterrupted. So much for people unplugging for a hot bath, huh?
Potty Putter
What guy wouldn’t love more time to play golf? This potty putter ($17.50, Funslurp.com) makes it all possible. We’re just not sure if the bathroom’s the best place to perfect your swing.
Mirror clearer
Can’t wait for that postshower steam to dissipate? This mirror clearer ($13, Dewadesignshop.com) will reunite you with your reflection in no time. Of course, you could always just use the corner of your towel.
Shower Squid
In case you’ve had trouble reaching all the way across the shower to grab your shampoo, this Shower Squid ($36, Uncommongoods.com) will just hang out and practically hand it to you when you’re ready. (Cheaper than a butler, right?) We suppose this frees up lots of room in the corners of your bathtub, but really, what else are you going to put there?
Squatty Potty
Apparently we’ve been going to the bathroom wrong since the invention of the modern toilet. At least that’s the claim of the Squatty Potty ($28, Amazon.com), which promises to raise our feet, align our colon, and make elimination happen the way the good Lord intended. Good luck explaining this to guests, or the UPS person who delivers it.
